About Our Team
President and CEO
“The dead need to stay dead and I will do what I have to do to make sure of it even if it means I have to turn people into Zombies to find a cure and figure out how to kill them.”
Dr. John Mengele – President and CEO
Dr. Mengele is a graduate of a really good school. He graduated with honoring others with his presence. He doesn’t really remember much form college days but he had a piece of paper that said he graduated so he believes he did.
When Dr. Mengele was in his late 20’s, he got high a lot. I mean a lot, a lot. One day, he was really, really high and had an epiphany about life while he was eating potato chips. He saw the future in the potato chip and realized it was his duty to solve the world’s problems. He hired a whole bunch of really smart people who he used to get high and together they created S.H.I.T.
Today, S.H.I.T is leading the world in research and development all because as Dr. Megele put it “Because I got high, because I got high, because I got high.”
Director of Research and Development
“I am 100% sure I can’t stop the Zombie Apocalypse but I will do everything to pretend I will.”
Dr. Richard Romero – Director of Research and Development
Dr. Romero is doctor of medicine. He has over 150 years of experience in medicine. He studied medicine with some famous doctors – Shout out to Dr. Nick Rivera of Springfield. He graduated from medical school and it only took him 20 times to pass his medical exam. In his free-time, Dr. Romero writes best-selling books such as To Know Me Is To Know That I Have No Idea What I Am Talking About and I Like Turtles: Blank Stares Mean I Have No Clue What You Are Talking About.
Today, he is a leading researcher because he was told he is not allowed to actually treat people so instead he tells people what to do.
Director of Tactical and Technology Research
“Yes, guns are a lot more effective but they aren’t as fun as a bat encased in barbed wire.”
Hom A. Cidel – Director of Tactical and Technology Research
Mr. Cidel has 20 years of experience in Tactical and Technology Research. He has worked at some really big companies that we can’t name here because they no longer want to be associated with him and he signed a non-disclosure agreement with them but trust us, he worked at some pretty big named companies like the Pentagon. He is an ex-military member that was dishonorably discharged due to his mental instability. This made him a perfect candidate to lead our Tactical and Technology Research Department.